On The Many Shades Of Truth
At the start of this year I got a cancer diagnosis. The expected happened - fear, confusion, anger, sadness, panic - and then over time something else: curiosity, creativity, inspiration (plus some recurring fear, no doubt).
Curiosity…?
To understand what this cancer thing really IS in fact. There are fewer answers, it turns out, than the few we even believe to exist. Western Medicine, though it may partly save my life, is riddled with unbelievable naivety, mistakes and poor practice regarding even simple procedures I’ve found out, first hand!
And regarding the bigger things like SOLVING cancer, it is further away still. I want to know what really causes these mysterious proliferations of cells; why they sometimes stop and start again; why some are more treatable than others; and why others seem to receed all by themselves.
Creativity?…
Because there are infinite ways to approach a problem, any problem. One being to not treat it as a problem at all in fact, but as a simple mystery, or opportunity to learn, grow and improve. This is the more ‘GNM’ way, which we’ll get to very soon.
Inspiration?…
Because to solve / build a healthy relationship with cancer, one needs to want to live, to have something to live for and to feel inspired by or towards something in general.
As for the Fear… well, it is quite literally what they say: False Expectations Appearing Real. We live out the story or stories we most believe. And even the diagnosis of ‘having cancer’ can be challenged, let alone the prognosis, expected outcomes, side effects etc that come with it.
How many people live in fear, and die out of fear, rather than any objective concrete ‘illness’ of sorts? It’s a meaningful question with valuable answers I feel.
I’ve had illnesses before - flu, small infections, food poisoning etc. Cancer is a million miles from this. It’s largely asymptomatic, appears as if from nowhere and (in my case) doesn’t show up anywhere at all on even the most elaborate blood tests.
So how to approach such a phenomena? And how to know if one might be getting closer to the truth?
Well, put simply… there is no singular, objective truth.
As Lao Tzu boldly states: “true words seem paradoxical”.
For anything to be ‘true’ then its opposite must also be true. Eg: is cancer manifested in the body or the mind? The answer - Both. Is it influenced by internal or external factors? Both. Is the individual responsible for getting it or is it just coincidence / bad luck? Both. Are solutions, cures, treatments measurable or unmeasurable? Both.
The same goes for any living, biological, dynamic organism such as a human being. Am I Introvert or extrovert? Both. Am I week or strong? Both. Arguable or submissive? Both.
Another way of putting it might be - ‘it depends on the situation, the context, the moment’.
Change is perhaps the only certainty… the only thing we can observe with absolute truth. And so our ability to change, flow, adjust, adapt is perhaps most in line with the laws of nature. What is your cancer, illness, physical sensation, emotion asking of you? What survival instinct or opportunity to learn and improve is it presenting?
…Furthermore: how is today’s question different from yesterday’s? For our methods and solutions need to adjust alongside our mind-body also.
In this sense, we all live identical lives: gay, straight, young, old, male, female, healthy, unhealthy.
Actually, the whole concept of health is itself a tricky one. Longevity doesn’t really cut to the core of it, and nor does well-being, happiness, physical fitness, strength, heart rate, VO2 max, mindset or any other measurable component. Stress kills but so does a lack of it. Healthy diets help but an overly-controlled dogmatic one also doesn’t. Again… is it best addressed spiritually, mentally, physically, emotionally?
It’s all of the above, plus more no doubt…
Arguably, health (much like ‘truth’) is a simple case of ‘the idiot and the guru’… some people, communities, cultures remain ‘healthy’ without knowing or understanding why. Their unconscious habits keep them relatively stable and ‘together’. Others, through self-education, out of either choice or necessity, learn the subtle rules of nature and how best to apply them to themselves and others. If one asks TOO many questions and/or gets some of them a bit wrong, however, then they can be shifted out of balance, slowly over time.
In fact, this is even inevitable and necessary for unconscious, hidden patterns and layers to be rewired and improved. It makes one more adaptable and ‘aware’ long term though… providing one survives the learning journey.
The idiots (or simpler souls we could call them) have it all together until something shifts unexpectedly - then their lack of self-education / conscious awareness may lead them into tricky terrain. Personally, I expect I may have been the imperfect ‘guru’ - tinkering often with my diet, lifestyle, relationships, goals, training regimes, home, jobs etc, to the point where various things may have become ‘out of line’ with my body’s ability to stay in balance. My (sometimes) headstrong, creative and inspired projects during the last few years might have pushed my physical/emotional body beyond its limits… and now I’m paying the price for it.
Of course… we’ll never know the answer, if there even is one. But my job, either way, is to discover more and more shades of truth, so that my health and vitality may be as optimal as possible.
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